Imagine you are a bright, caring mid-level leader who believes in servant leadership and championing for your team. You are, however, exhausted from pretending everything is ok when it isn’t. You may be emotionally beaten by your superior and you are quickly realizing why so many others left the position before you got it – now you are on the verge of quitting too.
You are my coaching client and we talk about your boundaries and when they are getting crossed and how the situation left you feeling; emotionally depleted, mentally exhausted, mad, sad, frustrated.
You have put up with it for far too long; at first in shock, and then paralyzed with fear and uncertainty of how to handle the situation. You would never have allowed someone to talk to your staff in this manner, yet you allow yourself to be demeaned, degraded and bullied.
When this has happened to me, I try (emphasis on the try, because I’m not always successful at first) not to be a mouse and run and hide to avoid being stepped on, I try not to be a lion and match their fury with anger. Rather, I try to be an owl – collected, reasonable, wise and focused on what I need to do to begin to change the conversation.
Is someone pushing your limits, mentally, emotionally or otherwise?
How do you feel when your boundaries are crossed?
What have you been tolerating for too long?
What do you need to speak up about?
My Rule of 3
If something happens once – oh well, we all make mistakes.
If something happens twice – pay attention.
If something happens three times – I’d put my money on it that it’s going to happen again, so you’d better put a plan in place so that when it does you can pull that plan out of your back pocket and deal with it.
Know your boundaries and pay attention to how you feel when they are crossed.
Create a plan to deal with the issue in an owl-like manner.
Don’t let people treat you in a way that you wouldn’t allow your children or your parents or your best friend be treated.
Your boundaries matter because you matter and the person that needs to protect your boundaries is you! #StandUpForYou
Be like an owl, do what you have to do to stand up for you. Please.
Cheering for you, as always, Steph